"Buff your pinkies, flex your wrists. This is even bigger than the twist. Horns go honk and strings go zing - Doin' the Bing." - Bing Crosby singing "Doin' the Bing" in A Bing Crosby Christmas
A Bing Crosby Christmas DVD Review
By Jonathan Boudreaux
In 1942, crooner Bing Crosby appeared in the film Holiday Inn, a musical comedy in which he introduced Irving Berlin's Oscar-winning tune "White Christmas." With World War II raging, the sentimental song of Christmas longing became an instant hit in the United States, eventually selling thirty million copies as a single alone. Three years later, Crosby recorded "Merry Christmas," an entire album of Christmas songs. To this day, "Merry Christmas" remains the best selling Christmas album of all time.
With Crosby so inextricably linked to the holiday, he was a natural choice to host a television Christmas special. For years he performed in Christmas specials for radio, but it was not until 1962, almost twenty years after the release of "Merry Christmas," that his first television special was broadcast. For the next fifteen years, each holiday season brought with it a new Crosby special, ending only with his death in 1977.
A Bing Crosby Christmas collects highlights from the fifteen years of specials. Produced in 1979, this salute is hosted by late musical legend Gene Kelly and Crosby's widow, Kathryn.
The show begins with a medley of Christmas carols from various specials. While no single song is given enough time to be fully enjoyed, this is merely a warm-up for the full numbers to come. As the opening credits roll, we are treated to a truly bizarre The Music Man tribute featuring a reworked "Trouble" (now infused with a jingle bell theme) as dancers in spangled band uniforms march wildly around Crosby. Be sure to look for Carol Burnett, Roy Clark, and Bernadette Peters - also in band uniforms - as they join Crosby at the end of the number.
Next up is "You've Gotta Have Style," a catchy number that appears to be filmed on site at a ski resort. Watch as Crosby cavorts with a poor schlub in a scary snowman costume, occasionally beating on the poor guy. Tragically, the much abused snowman eventually melts in the hot sun, a sight that doesn't seem to bother Bing in the slightest.
The Christmas specials were a family affair. Crosby's wife Kathryn and children Harry, Mary Frances, Nathaniel often joined him for musical number and comedic bits. In the not-quite-Christmas-y "We've Got Camaraderie," the family performs while dressed as dirt-smeared hobos. This leads to a medley of numbers from throughout the years featuring ever cool Bing, regally perky Kathryn, and the fidgety, tone deaf, often terrorized looking children. This mostly serves as a video photo album charting the kids' growth since the musical value of the clips is.well, let's just say "lacking." The clips also serve as a friendly wakeup call for today's home movie culture. Crosby's kids look awkward and dull in these meticulously produced numbers, so think twice next time you feel the urge to carry around your camcorder in order to tape the boring minutiae of your life for posterity. If control freak Crosby couldn't make interesting home movies with the help of countless technicians, writers, and stylists, what chance do you have?
"Doin' the Bing" is a number from Crosby's first ever Christmas special. This Fosse-esque number featuring Bing and a gaggle of Bing doppelgangers may not be Christmas related, but it is a classic of effortless style and grace. Of all the clips here, this is the one that will have you hitting the skip back button to watch it again and again. From that same special, Bing's guest Mary Martin joins him for a duet on "Happy Together."
The next number, "Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas" features Crosby as a stew bum Santa and Melba Moore as a Salvation Army bell ringer who argue musically over the rights to a corner. This fabulously weird number goes on too long, but it must be seen to be believed.
Wearing a generous coating of eye shadow that makes her look like a cross between Brittney Spears and "Total Eclipse of the Heart"'s Bonnie Tyler, model Twiggy joins Crosby for "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas." This segues into a version of the same song featuring Carol Burnett.
Banjoist Roy Clark joins Crosby for some pickin' and grinnin' on "Goin' up the Creek," a truly bizarre segment that features much Hee Haw-style "humor." A cigarette puffing Jackie Gleason next duets with Crosby on "A Pair of Loafers." In this number, Gleason appears to be wearing either a raccoon on his head or the world's most unconvincing toupee. Wearing a fir wreath would have been more convincing.
It's at this point where it becomes extraordinarily noticeable that we haven't been seeing much Christmas music in this Christmas collection. Luckily, it's all Christmas music from here on out. Fred Astaire joins Crosby and his family for "Sleigh Ride." Also joining in are the too queer for words Young Americans, who unfortunately are not allowed to sing the line "we're riding along with the song of a wintery fairy land." This segues to a version of "Sleigh Ride" from another special, this one shot on an actual sleigh riding through the snowy landscape. Forming what is perhaps the world's most bizarre combo, singer Connie Stevens, future Little House on the Prairie star Michael Landon, and comedian John Byner (Soap) sing along with the Crosbys in their sleigh. The result is something akin to The Poseidon Adventure on Ice.
Next up is the classic "Peace on Earth/The Little Drummer Boy" duet with David Bowie. Whoever came up with this unusual pairing should be commended - this is a classic Christmas special moment that will long outlive both artists. That it was taped shortly before Crosby's death makes it even more poignant.
Bing then relates the story of "One Solitary Life." This is the cornball yet oddly moving retelling of the story of Christ.
Next up, Bing solos on "O Holy Night" as he looms Godzilla-like over a tiny model church. In the middle of the number he inexplicably gains the power of invisibility before reappearing in front of the church. Exactly what kind of candy did David Bowie bring to the studio?
The next few numbers are also Bing solos, including "The First Noel," "O Come All Ye Faithful," and "Silent Night." The compilation concludes with a medley of "White Christmas" production numbers from throughout the years, including an especially painful one featuring the Crosby kids.
The DVD features simple but easy to navigate menus. Viewers can play the show in its entirety, or jump to specific songs via the "Song Selection" menu.
