"Why, Mr. Whipple! What were you doing when the lights went out?" - Charmin Commercial
Classic Commercials DVD Review
By Jonathan Boudreaux
With the rise of television shows on DVD, TV fans can rejoice at the fact that they can own entire seasons of their favorite TV shows, complete and uncut, and devoid of commercial interruptions. Those who might be suffering from commercial withdrawal can now get their consumer culture fix with Classic Commercials, a collection of over 250 ads from the 1950s, 60s, and 70s. Running for over three hours, this compendium teaches us several things about advertising and about our lives as consumers:
Celebrity Sells - We will pretty much buy anything as long as a celebrity is endorsing it. Here are Laurel and Hardy schilling for Standard Oil and Hamm's Beer (luckily, not at the same time). Fellow movie pioneer Buster Keaton sells us Simon Pure Beer. The 5th Dimension drop in to sing a cool little ditty about Jell-o, "The Light Snack." Looney Tunes voice Mel Blanc asks "Do you know me?" in an iconic American Express ad. Star Wars' Mark Hamill speaks out for the March of Dimes. Dick Van Dyke extols the virtues of the easy-loading Kodak Instamatic Movie Camera. Jack Benny is featured in an ad for Texaco Sky Chief. Other featured stars include Bing Crosby (for Ducks Unlimited), Jimmy Durante (for Scotties tissues), Boris Karloff (A-1 Sauce), John Wayne (for the American Cancer Society), Cybill Shepard (for Cover Girl), The Three Stooges (for Instant Simoniz Car Wash and Wax), and many more, who all do their best to make us buy, buy, buy. Oddly enough, the makers of the "VD is for Every Body!" public service announcement did not find a celebrity pitch person.
Celebrity is Fickle - What do television stars do before they become TV stars? Appear in commercials, of course! Look closely for The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Good Times' John Amos in a Right Guard commercial. Future M*A*S*H star Mike Farrell pitches beer. Even future film star Robbie Benson gets in on the act with a Comet Cleanser commercial featuring Josephine the Plumber.
What do TV stars do after their stardom has faded? In Tony Dow's case, the former Leave it to Beaver brother becomes a log rolling hoodlum in an Old Milwaukee commercial. Ward Cleaver would not approve!
Nancy Walker, who played Rhoda's mother in The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda supplements her income by moonlighting as Rosie, the Bounty paper towel spokesman.
Kids Don't Smoke Enough - In the '80s and '90s, child advocates protested Joe Camel, a brightly colored cartoon that was used to sell cigarettes in print ads. Even though Joe Camel was always seen in adult situations, the belief was that the style of the ads was so similar to Saturday morning cartoons that they would encourage children to smoke. Apparently no one had such qualms in the '60s when The Flintstones gang was used to hawk Winston cigarettes. Who thought this was an appropriate idea? At least we can take comfort in the fact that Howdy Doody did not endorse whisky and that the Smurfs did not sell pistols.
Have a Product to Sell? Hire Frankenstein - Envision Frankenstein: bolts in his neck, greenish skin tone, flat head. Is this a face you would buy a car from? Apparently advertisers thought so, judging from the endless number of commercials that feature the monster, including the Volkswagen Van, the Toyota Corolla, Orange Shasta, Bic Pens, and Toyota Trucks. And, of course, the animated Frankenberry convinced millions of kids to buy his sugary cereal with "strawberry sweeties." Other famous monsters show up, too, including Dracula for Der Wienerschnitzel, Jekyll and Hyde for Alka Seltzer Plus, and a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer-style stop motion King Kong for the Volkswagen 4-11. Unfortunately, the Creature from the Black Lagoon does not pitch skin cream.
Camay was a Precursor to Viagra - In commercial after commercial, Camay soap is shown to leave its users in a positively orgasmic state. Model after model - both male and female - languidly rub their bodies with the soap and purr about its creamy, extra lathering feel. Viewers might need a shower after watching too many of these.
It is Okay to Tell Your Girlfriend She's Ugly - .provided you compliment her skin immediately afterwards. At least this seems to be the case in a rather perverse series of Ivory commercials in which a boyfriend tells his mate that while she isn't as pretty as her best friend, she has healthy looking skin. Thanks!
Families of the 1970s Liked to Take Showers Together - At least that is what a series of Safeguard Soap commercials seems to imply. Afterwards, these same families like to stand around in their towels while doing some group activity, like playing in a band or preparing to take a road trip.
Even Fictional TV Characters Consume - Through the early '70s, TV actors often did commercials in character for the sponsors of their shows. In this collection, we get to see Andy Griffith and Don Knotts as The Andy Griffith Show's Andy and Barney in a "fun" commercial for Grape Nuts cereal. Elizabeth Montgomery's Samantha Stevens works her magic for Clairol Hair Spray in a spot from Bewitched. (Of course, this ignores the fact that as a witch, Samantha could simply twitch her nose to obtain the perfect coiffure, or ask Uncle Arthur to play hairdresser). Monkees fans will delight in seeing a Kool-Aid commercial featuring the band and Bugs Bunny - a commercial that was not featured in the recent boxed set of The Monkees: Season One. I Love Lucy fans will also be interested in Philip Morris commercials featuring the Ricardos - and some interstitial Philip Morris/Lucy & Desi animated segments - that were not included in the show's season one boxed set.
Commercial Spokesmen are Often Insane - Why exactly does Josephine the Plumber care if her customers use Comet Cleanser? Sure, it gets out food stains from porcelain sinks, but since when did we start calling over a plumber to remove stains? And what's with Mr. Whipple and the Charmin? After all, which is more idiotic - to WANT to squeeze toilet paper, or to try to PREVENT someone from squeezing toilet paper? And in what universe is it polite for Mrs. Olsen to carry around a bottle of Folgers in her purse to foist on her unsuspecting hosts when their coffee does not measure up?
The commercials are spread out over two discs. The first disc generally includes the older commercials, like Dinah Shore and Pat Boone singing about the virtues of the '59 Chevy, Quick Tan with QT, and several instances of tap dancing cigars and cigarettes. Disc two includes '70s favorites like the Frito Bandito, Quisp (animated by the creators of Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends), and "Crying Indian" litter PSA. That said, though, both discs feature a variety of clips from each decade. For details about the commercials presented on each disc, visit the Classic Commercials Disc 1 Details Page and the Classic Commercials Disc 2 Details Page.
Viewers can choose to play all of the commercials on the individual discs or jump to a specific category, like "Cigarettes & Cigars," "Cosmetics & Medication," or "Food & Drink." It should be noted, however, that even with these broad categories, some of the commercials seem to be indifferently placed. Unfortunately, it is not possible to jump directly to a favorite commercial.
